Setting and holding boundaries in our relationships is difficult, but worth it. Boundaries communicate our preferences to another person. When telling someone what we will or won’t do, or what we prefer, we should communicate directly and gently. For example, “I don’t like discussing graphic details about medical procedures.” “Next time you mention such details, I will end our call or leave the conversation.”
Once we communicate our preferences, we need to remember that we are not responsible for how the listener responds. That is, we cannot control how the listener feels, what they think, or whether they respect our boundary. Boundaries inform others about what we need to be healthy and well. If the listener tries to understand and respects our boundary, then this is a healthy and safe interaction. If they respect our preferences over time, this is likely a safe and healthy relationship. Communicating our boundaries allows us the best opportunity to have a healthy relationship.