Our experiences and choices do not define us, they’re not life sentences, only experiences. Some of my clients make harsh condemning statements about themselves. For example, “I’m a lousy friend,” or “I’m a terrible parent.” We also tend to define others by a single interaction. Such as, “He thinks I’m an idiot.”
However actions and decisions begin and end like a movie. We make a choice using the information we have at the time we decide, then we go on. We can learn from whatever follows a particular experience or choice. We have the power to make a different choice the very next moment. Even if we made unhealthy or harmful choices for a long time, we can learn and practice healthier, safer choices.
We should strive to savor each moment of our lives, whether pleasant or painful. Moments add up to a life and each one is a precious gift. Each of us has a unique, and precious perspective that no one else shares. We are each interested in, focus on and remember different parts of things we experience with one another. When we take time to understand one another with compassionate curiosity, our relationships deepen and we enrich our experiences.
We should enjoy one another’s unique, precious, authentic selves. Do what makes us truly come alive. That is what our world needs: more people doing what makes us come alive. Being authentic means that you act in ways that show your true self and how you feel. Rather than trying to say what you imagine others want to hear, express your whole self genuinely. That means to succeed in being authentic, you first have to know your true self.
Being authentic means being courageous and vulnerable. Authenticity is difficult, but worth it. The alternative is looking back on our life with regret, or thinking, “What if I did, or said . . . ?”