In my years as a licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, I have worked with thousands of clients. Often at the end of each work day, I often notice a theme emerging across my appointments each day. Despite talking to different people with different problems, a common theme emerges each day. Themes include gratitude, remembering ones value, worthiness, redemption, autonomy, self-compassion, etc. I recognize such themes when I reflect daily. These themes are the counsel I receive from the people I serve.
We all know the importance of self-care to promoting our health and well being. Self-care includes getting enough, regular sleep, exercise, building margin into our lives. Also, balancing work-life, making time for play, nurturing friendships, family-time, good nutrition, medical & behavioral health check-ups, etc. In fact, we cannot care for others better than we care for ourselves. However, a common theme or pattern I observe is that when facing stress most of us neglect our self-care. I often hear, “I don’t have time to exercise, eat well, connect with friends.”
Another common theme I observe is the belief that our value and worthiness of love and belonging are contingent on what we have, produce, how we look, others’ opinions, etc. This pattern of holding our worth or worthiness hostage to impossible, changing expectations increases our suffering. I believe that we all have infinite, incorruptible value now as we are, with all our strengths and struggles. Also, that we are all worthy of extravagant love and belonging now, as we are. Imaging how our lives and world would improve if we all believed this.