Sonder

My dear brother, friend, sage and so much more, Michael L Dublin Sr. shared a word with me that resonates. That word is “Sonder.”

Sonder-The profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passed in the street, has a life as complex as one’s own, which they are constantly living despite one’s personal lack of awareness of it. Sonder speaks to our common humanity. We are more alike than different.

Sonder speaks to recognizing the humanity is us all as a human family. We all have stories that would make another person cry, laugh, gasp, etc. All of us have brilliant strengths, talents, unique gifts, abilities as well as struggles, hardships, losses, & problems. When we recognize our common humanity, this enriches us. We do not have to make sonder about “better” or “worse,” “valuable” or “worthless,” but merely intriguing differences that can enrich us all as unique members of our human family.

Honing our sonder is a step in the right direction towards breaking down systematic, institutional systems of oppression.

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Providing Trauma-Informed care for Power Control & Abuse

Using power to control another person’s choices, or emotions is abusive. Ellen Pence and Michael Paymar developed the Duluth Model or Domestic Abuse Intervention Project to reduce domestic violence against women. The Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, was developed in Duluth Minnesota. The power wheel identifies some ways used to control others. Behaviors in the wheel are abusive, harmful, & oppressive. If you have been on the receiving end of any of these behaviors, you have been abused. Having experiences like these can harm us and have a lasting impact, if not treated. Safety is the first priority.

It is crucial to find a highly trained, experienced, licensed, certified, trauma-informed counselor to empower and free people to overcome abusive power and control. Dr. Louis A Giordano, LCMHC, NCC, BCPCC has both personal experience, professional training and 25 years experience conducting clinical research and providing trauma-informed counseling. Remember that you are not to blame, or responsible for how or if someone abused you. It was not your fault. In additional to professional, trauma informed counseling, resources are available to help you in tangible, meaningful ways.

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