The relationship dance metaphor describes how to enjoy and flourish in life. For me, savoring moments with the people in my life is the very essence of living well. In my relationships, I strive to reframe the words, “win,” “lose,” “right,” or “wrong” with “growing in deeper understanding” by “practicing empathy.” I believe that deepening relationships requires actively listening with compassionate curiosity. Then we must enthusiastically value and validate what we learn about each other. For me, this describes a healthy relationship between two people: the process of directly and gently relating to one another as described above.
Category: Resources
Our self-care limits how well we can care for and love others
Our self-care improves how well we care for others. We may have heard, “If you’re traveling with a small child, put your oxygen mask on before putting your child’s mask on.” The rationale is that we cannot help our child if we pass out from lack of oxygen. We may have also heard, “love your neighbor as yourself.” My personal and professional experience has taught me that many of us believe that self-care or self-love is selfish, or we do not have time for self-care. I have noticed that when stress increases, our self-care is the first thing we stop. That is we say, “No” to ourselves before we say “No” to a demand from someone else. Many of us will say a reluctant “Yes” before estimating whether we have the capacity to meet the need before us.
How many of us work through lunch, multi-task, rush because we are late, feel overwhelmed by, or accept chronic stress, insomnia, pain, burdens as “normal.” However, everybody gets 168-hours every week. This is enough time to sleep 8-hours per night, work 40-hours per week, spend 10-hours per week commuting, eat for 30-minutes 3-times per day, spend 30-minutes per day exercising, totaling 120-hours. If we are organized this leave us an additional 48-hours per week to rest, enjoy our relationships, pursue a hobby, recreation, etc. Promoting our wellbeing and living a life of the ages is possible, but it requires that we first care for ourselves. We are all more stressed these days. Our self-care has never been more critically important.
Juneteenth
On Juneteenth I recognize none of us are truly free until we all are free. When some of our civil rights and civil liberties are threatened, we are all similarly threatened. Let’s strive to recognize that we are ALL incalculably, incorruptibly valuable, now as we are. Also, we are all worthy of extravagant love and belonging now, as we are. Moreover, let’s enthusiastically love one another as ourselves. I stand in solidarity with my black brothers and sisters, you matter to me.