Whether learning a new behavior, or ceasing an unhealthy habit, behavior change is difficult. There is a saying in martial arts, “The master has failed more than the novice has tried.” This saying captures the difficulty of changing behavior. In fact, most of us will continue in unhealthy behaviors [sedentary lifestyle, poor nutrition, self-defeating thoughts, etc], or relationships [abusive, toxic, exploitive, etc] because they are familiar. In my 25 plus years as a behavior change professional, I discovered that we change when our current behaviors cause us more suffering than we can bear. When we can’t bear the discomfort, or we face a life-changing event such as an accident, a diagnosis, a loss, then we strive to change.
The change process involves several key steps. First we need to identify the problem or target for change. This could involve a target for increasing or decreasing a behavior to improve health. For example, eating more fruit, walking more, or limiting processed foods or alcohol. Next, we need to set small, achievable goals. If we have been sedentary, instead of trying to walk 1-mile per day, we can start with walking for 5-15 minutes, 2-3 times per week. Tracking our progress and sharing our progress with someone who will offer us encouragement and support helps us to change.